Winter leads to Spring

It's been awhile since I have posted. To be honest it's kind of been a roller coaster of emotions, from serenity to uncertainty. It hasn't been very pleasant and I have been my worst enemy. Philippians 4:8 says "Finally brothers, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any moral excellence and if there is any praise-dwell on these things." To my own admission I haven't been dwelling on these things. I've let my fears run me for the most part. I recently had to go to Master Resiliency Training as part of my in-processing, one of the modules addressed counter-productive thinking and I was amazed at how much the training could be found in the bible. Things like mental boxing, avoiding thinking traps, hunt the good stuff, and so forth. Well needless to say one of the things that was said at the training was that these things need to be practiced. When I apply the productive thoughts, I feel better and I don't dwell on what I wish things were. I finished a book recently 'God is Closer Than You Think' by John Ortberg. He spoke of winter of the soul and how the words he thought of when he said winter, were words like death, hypothermia, cold, etc. Needless to say yes I am in a winter of the soul. Winter can't last forever (unless you are watching the movie Frozen). Winter is a season and at the end of that season there is life once again. Trees once 'appearing' dead have sprung back to life. Only way for winter to end is to go through the season one day at a time. It may be cold now but warmth and growth are on the horizon.

I still haven't really connected with a church here. Maybe I'm wrong in this kind of thinking but kind of resolved that if I can't be loved on right now by a church, then I'm going to love on people here in the barracks. I had a few opportunities to share a cooked meal with my roommate and a Soldier who I got to Germany with. It echoed a Proverb I read this morning "Your own soul is nourished when you are kind, but you destroy yourself when you are cruel."