Look up!

Funny how God can meet your need sometimes. To be honest, I have roller coaster days, where I want to give up on everything... Driving in to work this morning I had this song going by Elevation Worship "I will look up". Somedays I don't want to look up but rather return to the vomit because I'm tired of being without the people I love the most. I know this may not make sense to someone who isn't/hasn't gone through something like this. Just have an aching in my heart right now where I want to isolate because it's easier. Anyway there was a line in the song...'I will look back and see that you are faithful'. I heard that and started to tear up a little bit. God, sometimes I want to give up, but I will keep walking one more day.

All the worries of this world

I will lay them at your feet

Surrender every anxious thought for perfect peace, your perfect peace

 

All the loved one's I hold dear

All my hopes and dreams and all my fears

I will choose to trust your name in everything, with everything

I will look up for there is none above you

I will bow down to tell you that I need You

Jesus Lord of all

Jesus Lord of all

I will take you at your word

For Jesus you have taken hold of me

All my life is in your hands

You are my strength, you are my strength

I will look up for there is none above you

I will bow down to tell you that I need You

Jesus Lord of all

Jesus Lord of all

I will look back and see that you are faithful

I look ahead believing you are able

Jesus Lord of all

Jesus Lord of all

Prince of Peace

Perfect Healer

All my life, all my cares on you

King of Kings

Mighty Savior

All my life, all my cares on you

Berlin Trip

Made my first overnight trip with some friends. First went and spent the night in Grafenwoehr ate some special food. Okay are you ready for this......Crocodile, Bison, Ostrich, and Kangaroo. 

After crashing there for the night we made our way up to Tropical Islands. Massive indoor water park that is housed in an old zeppelin hangar, and after further observation it was discovered that it was an old airfield. This water park was large enough to have The Statue of Liberty stand up inside and the Eiffel tower fit laying down. It was fun but a very long drive.

The Waterpark. don't let the picture fool you this thing was massive

Something I wanted to see, The Reichstag. This is where Russia pretty much ended WWII for Nazi Germany

Finally

I HAVE MY CAR!!!!!   Time to find a music store.

Winter leads to Spring

It's been awhile since I have posted. To be honest it's kind of been a roller coaster of emotions, from serenity to uncertainty. It hasn't been very pleasant and I have been my worst enemy. Philippians 4:8 says "Finally brothers, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any moral excellence and if there is any praise-dwell on these things." To my own admission I haven't been dwelling on these things. I've let my fears run me for the most part. I recently had to go to Master Resiliency Training as part of my in-processing, one of the modules addressed counter-productive thinking and I was amazed at how much the training could be found in the bible. Things like mental boxing, avoiding thinking traps, hunt the good stuff, and so forth. Well needless to say one of the things that was said at the training was that these things need to be practiced. When I apply the productive thoughts, I feel better and I don't dwell on what I wish things were. I finished a book recently 'God is Closer Than You Think' by John Ortberg. He spoke of winter of the soul and how the words he thought of when he said winter, were words like death, hypothermia, cold, etc. Needless to say yes I am in a winter of the soul. Winter can't last forever (unless you are watching the movie Frozen). Winter is a season and at the end of that season there is life once again. Trees once 'appearing' dead have sprung back to life. Only way for winter to end is to go through the season one day at a time. It may be cold now but warmth and growth are on the horizon.

I still haven't really connected with a church here. Maybe I'm wrong in this kind of thinking but kind of resolved that if I can't be loved on right now by a church, then I'm going to love on people here in the barracks. I had a few opportunities to share a cooked meal with my roommate and a Soldier who I got to Germany with. It echoed a Proverb I read this morning "Your own soul is nourished when you are kind, but you destroy yourself when you are cruel."